"I read the news today, oh boy..."1
I lost a dear friend this week and the world lost an amazingly brilliant and shining soul. While speaking with some 20-something friends of mine this week, I told them to embrace this time of their lives...when the news involves marriages and babies instead of illnesses, divorces and deaths.
Life is short and we are responsible for our choices and our actions. My friend who passed away lived an inspirational life. He shared his energy and vitality with everyone who had the honor of knowing him.
We first met in private piano class when we were 6 and 7. Throughout our school years, we ran into one another every now and then. We had many friends in common and, more than anything, we had performing and music in common.
Years passed and, like so many others, we reconnected through social media. It was a joy to reconnect and fill in the blanks created over more than two decades. As the mother of a child with special needs, he connected me with a friend of his who was dealing with similar issues in her own life. With his passing, I immediately thought of my connecting with her...a minor legacy if you will.
My lesson, yet again, is to treasure every moment. The day I learned my friend had passed, my daughter turned thirteen. Life races by, the days turn into months and the years slip by. I try to hold my loved ones close, but sometimes, inexcusably, life gets in the way. Losing a lifelong friend is a wake-up call...but it should not take such an extreme event to remember how precious our friends and loved ones are.
To my departed friend, I treasure my memories of you and your spirit lives on with so many of us. Thank you for the light you shined on us all.
1. A Day In The Life lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
To Tell or Not To Tell....
My son has Autism.
Over the years this has become easier to say and share with others, although it often still feels like it requires an explanation after I say it, "very high functioning...in a regular classroom..."
I have discussed my son's Autism with others numerous times, but until recently I had never had the conversation with my son. I knew it would happen eventually, but when it did, it was unplanned, unchoreographed and unrehearsed. In the world of Autism, where life is a constant series of routines and consistent expectations, broaching the topic of Autism with my son was spontaneous...and not nearly as life-altering for him as I anticipated and/or feared.
The short version of our conversation went something like this:
Mom: "Do you know that you have Autism?"
Riley: "I do?"
Mom: "You do."
Riley: "Is that bad?"
Mom: "Of course not...it just means sometimes your brain works differently than others."
Riley: "Ok."
Mom: "Do you have any questions?"
Riley: "Should I?"
Mom: "That's up to you."
Riley: "Nope...no questions."
End of discussion. That was it. Years of agonizing about how the conversation would go and how he would react....perhaps I should stop projecting my fears and concerns on him. For years I have made a point of letting people know Riley has Autism, but it is a part of who he is, not what defines him as a person, yet my fear was that by empowering him with knowledge, the label of "Autism" would change him or how he viewed the world. To quote him..."Nope."
Over the years this has become easier to say and share with others, although it often still feels like it requires an explanation after I say it, "very high functioning...in a regular classroom..."
I have discussed my son's Autism with others numerous times, but until recently I had never had the conversation with my son. I knew it would happen eventually, but when it did, it was unplanned, unchoreographed and unrehearsed. In the world of Autism, where life is a constant series of routines and consistent expectations, broaching the topic of Autism with my son was spontaneous...and not nearly as life-altering for him as I anticipated and/or feared.
The short version of our conversation went something like this:
Mom: "Do you know that you have Autism?"
Riley: "I do?"
Mom: "You do."
Riley: "Is that bad?"
Mom: "Of course not...it just means sometimes your brain works differently than others."
Riley: "Ok."
Mom: "Do you have any questions?"
Riley: "Should I?"
Mom: "That's up to you."
Riley: "Nope...no questions."
End of discussion. That was it. Years of agonizing about how the conversation would go and how he would react....perhaps I should stop projecting my fears and concerns on him. For years I have made a point of letting people know Riley has Autism, but it is a part of who he is, not what defines him as a person, yet my fear was that by empowering him with knowledge, the label of "Autism" would change him or how he viewed the world. To quote him..."Nope."
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